JULY 25, 2009 (SATURDAY, HER DAY) i have written in 2008

Today 25th JULY 2009,

TIME PASSED AND CHANGES DONE... YES ITS ONLY CHANGE WHICH IS CONSTANT...

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT?WHY? DID THAT WAITING DESERVE ME? NOW I CAN SAY NO... I DO NOT KNOW THE REASON WHY AM I MAD FOR MY FIND... IS IT REALLY SHE?

WHAT IS TRUE IS THAT WHAT IS PRESENT WITH ME AND WITH HER, I STILL CANNOT PULL OUT THE FEELINGS I HAVE INSIDE MY HEART FOR HER, WILL THERE BE TIME WHEN SHE WILL BE NO MORE INSIDE ME, SOMETIMES IN THE FORM OF LOVE AND SOMETIMES IN THE FORM OF PAIN.. THESE CONFUSIONS HAD MADE ME HARDER, HARDER TO TRUST, HARDER TO UNDERSTAND,,, I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF THE WAY I AM GOING, THIS WAY LEADS TO NOWHERE... I JUST CANNOT FIND MYSELF WITHOUT THE FEELINGS OF LOVE FOR HER AND ON THE OTHERHAND WHEN I SEE THE REALITY I FOUND MYSELF ALONE IN THE PAIN, SO WHO IS THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PAIN?I MYSELF OR WHO?

SHE THROW ME AWAY LIKE A WASTE PAPER BUT STILL WHY AM I TRUSTING SOMETHING?WHY CANT I FORGET HER, MORE THN A YEAR PASSED AWAY FROM WHEN I AM JUST BEING FORCIBLY SEPERATED FROM HER AND BY HER,,,THE REASON I KNOW DOES NOT EXIST IN LOVE, SO IT WAS NOT LOVE IT WAS THE NEED OF HER MAY BE,, SHE KNOWS BETTER BUT TIME SAYS THAT WAS THE NEED,,, WAS OR ARE WE THE OPPOSITE ELEMENTS TO EACH OTHER?IF IT IS SO THAT ALSO DO NOT EXIST FOR ME..

This principle of unity is the mystery of all mysteries. The existence of a duality at once raises a question in our minds, and we seek its solution in the One. When at last we find a relation between these two, and thereby see them as one in ssence, we feel that we have come to the truth...WHO SAYS THIS?

There is a bond of harmony between our two eyes, which makes them act in unison. Likewise there is an unbreakable continuity of relation in the physical world between heat and cold, light and darkness, motion and rest, as between the bass and treble notes Of a piano. That is why these opposites do not bring confusion
in the universe, but harmony. If creation were but a chaos, we should have to imagine the two opposing principles as trying to Get the better of each other....THIS IS TRUTH AND THIS IS THE REALITY..

THINKING ABOUT HER, STILL MAKES MY HEART BEAT FASTER, AND WISHING.....

THE TRUTH IS WHAT IS PRESENT AND WHAT AM I...AM I WAITING FOR HER RETURN... AND THE TRUTH IS THAT I CANNOT FIND OR EVEN REPLACE HER... SHE CANNOT UNDERSTAND NOW, WHY I AM STILL LIKE THIS WHAT SHE CAN UNDERSTAND IS THAT I AM STILL AFTER HER,,,AND SHE MUST HAVE BEEN SINGING THE SONG "I AM NOT IN LOVE" IS THIS HER PRESENT? SHE IS NOT CONSCIOUS, AND IF SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN CONSCIOUS STATE THEN SHE IS THAT MY FIND WHO I FOUND, SHE IS THE CONSCIOUS LADY,

Woman in essence is a divine creature, all pure love. She is a consciousness, a principle embodying mother, sister, daughter, lover, comforter, nourisher, God — all at once in female form. But only when she is conscious....

ONE THING I KNOW IS THAT ALMIGHTY ALLAH EXIST!